Do Dads really matter these days?
By Donovan Grant
Do dads matter? Sorry but that sounds like a silly question. Of course they do.
There are some dads who are experts raising their children using all the tools, intuition and know how you can read about on internet today. And while it's never my intention to say that one dad is better than the other, I will make this bold statement- having a deep connection with your children is the key to long lasting families.
With Father’s celebrations just around the corner, in this article, we’ll look at some of the reasons that dads do matter.
Now we know that some dads do not live with their children for many reasons and in some cases it may even feel like their right to be a father has been taken away. Some may even feel as though they are not needed anymore. Soul searching questions like is there any point trying to see my kids? Or what difference can I make? Here’s the thing, men cry too. And right now many men are suffering in silence because they have more questions than answers. If this is true for, my message to you is simple, you’re still a dad, so just keep holding on.
It can be easy to be fooled into thinking that fathers don’t matter… A simple example in my own family of three children is that two of them are attached to mum but my eldest clearly relates to me because I'm a man. Just like all dads I'm learning as I go along in how to adapt to the differences, changes and needs in my children and myself. In fact the best thing that dads can do is "be a role model" in how you handle life and its difficulties.
And you know what, occasionally this may mean that you have to ask someone else to help you sort out a parenting challenge that you are struggling with. There is no fatherhood problem that someone else has not already experienced. So when you find someone who is willing to share their learning the results can be pretty amazing. The bottom line is – even big old “strong like Samson” dad can do with a helping hand from time to time.
Do you ever have one-to-one days with your children. In all the rushing around of family life it possible to take your eye off the ball. I have a 10 year old son who I see for an hour or so in the evenings during the week because of long days at the office. The thing is when the weekend comes sometimes it feels like we're always rushing about just too much just to squeeze in that quality time. Therefore weekends become "things-to-do" time. This is where the beauty of having a special one-to-one day comes in. You don’t have to do it all the time, but a regular one to one gives you time to slow down and share stories, problems and love that normally passes by without a mention.
As father’s day approaches, my hope is that you embrace the message that “yes, dad’s are important and do matter.” Remember that no one is perfect and I’m glad for one that we are not. We’ve got to go step by step. I’m sure that you like me are saddened that society has seemingly moved away from the concept of a 'family unit'. I'm not saying that if you are a single parent you won't necessarily be as good as two parents etc., but I feel that both mums and dads are important in their own right.
So come on dad, step up to the plate – there are certain things that your children are expecting from you. Its important to bond with your children because if you take a back seat then sadly your children will think that you don't care. If you care then do everything in your power to spend time with them and do not let anyone stop you from being the great father that you were designed to be.
Let’s take being a father to a whole new level!!
I believe in you.
What ideas can you add for why dads do matter? Leave your comments in the box below.
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com