Development Of The Child: What Could Be Holding Your Child Back?

by Donovan Grant on November 14, 2011

Development Of The Child: What Could Be Holding Your Child Back

By Donovan Grant

 

"It is best for young people to develop their maturity and character later on in life."

How does this statement sound to you? Now you maybe a “yes” or “no” voter and that’s okay because everyone sees the world through their own eyes. However, just ponder on this for a moment…  could this thinking be holding our children back and even setting a lower expectation of them?

It’s obvious that we all want children we can speak highly of to our family and friends. And we love to hear feedback from others of good deeds our kids have done. Yet, have you noticed sometimes that when your child does something which you believe they really should know better that you just shrug it off “oh you’re just a child; when you grow up you’ll understand how it should be.”

Have you ever said a statement like that? I’m going to level with you here; I am human parent just like you and I’ve used throwaway comments too. We all do from time to time. At times intentionally and every now and then we do it because we need a bit of space. .. and we all need a bit of space for sure.

If you or I were to expect our children to act immaturely on purpose, this may not be ideal for us or the child. In a way it’s like saying go on you can act the fool, be a bit lazy or not take responsibility for now, but the day you get to 18 things will have to change!” If we did this, we could simply be delaying the good stuff until later; putting an invisible cap on the next generation’s potential because they do not look as though they are ready yet.

I think it was the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who said “it’s your attitude and not your aptitude that will dictate how far you go in life”.

We have a major say in the attitudes that our young people have yesterday, today and in the future. You can probably remember from your own childhood where someone said “come on, you can do better than this”. How did that make you feel? One thing for sure, it would feel a lot better than an adult saying to you “oh, maybe you’re just not ready for this standard yet!” The attitude that we share around our child has a huge impact on how the think, speak and act in the world beyond our own front door.

Instead of holding young people back; many times unintentionally, as parents we owe to our young eager interns to raise their expectations higher. Help them to paint pictures in their minds of who they are, who they can become and how much greatness they have within them.

When we plant a seed in the garden, the seed will not grow into a fully grown plant straight away. It will take time depending on the type of plant and the type of conditions that the plant needs to grow. Some enjoy warm temperatures while some prefer cooler conditions. Some need to be watered regularly while some can survive with little or no water quite well. And one thing holds true with all these plants the more tending that you give them from early on, the more likely they will flourish and bloom from early on.

If this works for our plants, doesn’t the same hold true for our children?

What if we instill them with the attitude they can achieve anything that they dream of? What if we teach them that obstacles are just tiny setbacks to enable them to grow from strength to strength? What if we show them by example that the choices we make in life can make a difference in the success that we achieve? And what if, from a very early age we share with them the message that all children need to hear “I believe in you!”

Mum and dad, your child has a potential that you and I cannot really measure right now. However what we do know is that with your help they have the ability and strength to overcome much and bring forth what is in them.

Just imagine your daughter looking beautiful on the inside as well as the outside because she is pursuing what she enjoys and you give the chance to stretch and grow.

Imagine your son, standing upright and confident of their achievements and part they play in the wider community.

Children need to believe in their potential and we are the key to help them make them make it happen. Potential is seed that has been planted in our children’s hearts, minds and bodies. Instead of holding them back or setting lower expectation let’s nurture these seeds and help them to grow into rich ripe fruits!

We believe in you and we love serving you every day.

How was it for you?

It would be great to read your feedback on about how you enjoyed this article. Just scroll down below and write a short comment in the box below.

 Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations.  He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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  • Donovan, how many parent know to say the magic words you shared: “I Believe in You.” Even as adults we don’t always hear that. Maybe kids can be taught this when young so as adults they know how to say it to others?

  • “I believe in you” are probably the most valuable words a parent can say to their child…it says it all. Thanks for sharing your wisdom and insights, great article that offers excellent guidance for parents.

  • We can do so many things when we know that somebody believes in us and especially or parents. I wished my parents would have told me that. Many kids have to miss that, what a tragedy really! I hope many parents will read your post (s), they are excellent!

  • Thank you Donovan for sharing this excellent article! The words ‘I Believe in You’ are very powerful words for children and adults…As you say; “Let’s nurture these seeds…” …Awesome! Thanks, Hughie

  • Very good points Donovan.  We always tried to talk to our kids like adults and it really paid off.  I’m glad to see you writing about this and helping other parents to avoid this mistake you mention here before it’s too late.

  •  I like your quote from Zig Ziglar “it’s your attitude and not your aptitude that will dictate how far you go in life”.  Helping our kids see themselves in a good way and have a good attitude is so important.
    Thanks for the post.

  • Sue

    Great article Donovan…. I agree with the gang “I believe in you” is powerful — whether commenting to children or adults…when you start saying this to your young children, that is so powerful!  Keep up the good work!

  • Very insightful thoughts here Donovan and so very important. Everything we say or do, especially those ‘throw away comments’ can impact our children. I learned this several years ago when my children were just toddlers and from then on have ensured that I have been planting and nurturing seeds. Thanks for sharing this article.

  • Very insightful thoughts here Donovan and so very important. Everything we say or do, especially those ‘throw away comments’ can impact our children. I learned this several years ago when my children were just toddlers and from then on have ensured that I have been planting and nurturing seeds. Thanks for sharing this article.

  • Very insightful thoughts here Donovan and so very important. Everything we say or do, especially those ‘throw away comments’ can impact our children. I learned this several years ago when my children were just toddlers and from then on have ensured that I have been planting and nurturing seeds. Thanks for sharing this article.

  • Donovan, as always food for thought and this statement sets me thinking :’ Help them to paint pictures in their minds of who they are, who they can become and how much greatness they have within them.’ Parents have to grow as well. We can’t stop, we have to seek to be more. Great article.

  • Donovan, as always food for thought and this statement sets me thinking :’ Help them to paint pictures in their minds of who they are, who they can become and how much greatness they have within them.’ Parents have to grow as well. We can’t stop, we have to seek to be more. Great article.

  • Donovan, as always food for thought and this statement sets me thinking :’ Help them to paint pictures in their minds of who they are, who they can become and how much greatness they have within them.’ Parents have to grow as well. We can’t stop, we have to seek to be more. Great article.

  • Great article again Donovan!  I love your passion for helping families be the best that they can be.  You consistently provide great content that is so helpful!  Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us! 

  • So true Carol, we have to spread the word sister!

  • Thanks Denny – I believe in you too!

  • Olga, yes I share your concern for our young folks. Together we can help to get this message out to parents and children.

  • Thanks Hughie, nurturing is just the thing we need.

  • Hello Robert, thanks for stopping by. Great to hear that you found communication useful too – wouldn’t it be great if even one parent were to make a difference because they read your comment. Cheers!

  • Hi Pat, thanks for the support always!

  • Thanks Sue, your support is much appreciated.

  • Thanks Anne, your story and teachings have the power to change many lives.

  • Hi Claudia, you’re so right that Parents have needs to grow too, life is a journey for all of us.

  • Thanks Jennifer. Families are so important for us and this is where my heart is lead to share, so it’s great to have your support on this journey!

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