Development Of The Child: What Could Be Holding Your Child Back
By Donovan Grant
"It is best for young people to develop their maturity and character later on in life."
How does this statement sound to you? Now you maybe a “yes” or “no” voter and that’s okay because everyone sees the world through their own eyes. However, just ponder on this for a moment… could this thinking be holding our children back and even setting a lower expectation of them?
It’s obvious that we all want children we can speak highly of to our family and friends. And we love to hear feedback from others of good deeds our kids have done. Yet, have you noticed sometimes that when your child does something which you believe they really should know better that you just shrug it off “oh you’re just a child; when you grow up you’ll understand how it should be.”
Have you ever said a statement like that? I’m going to level with you here; I am human parent just like you and I’ve used throwaway comments too. We all do from time to time. At times intentionally and every now and then we do it because we need a bit of space. .. and we all need a bit of space for sure.
If you or I were to expect our children to act immaturely on purpose, this may not be ideal for us or the child. In a way it’s like saying “go on you can act the fool, be a bit lazy or not take responsibility for now, but the day you get to 18 things will have to change!” If we did this, we could simply be delaying the good stuff until later; putting an invisible cap on the next generation’s potential because they do not look as though they are ready yet.
I think it was the motivational speaker Zig Ziglar who said “it’s your attitude and not your aptitude that will dictate how far you go in life”.
We have a major say in the attitudes that our young people have yesterday, today and in the future. You can probably remember from your own childhood where someone said “come on, you can do better than this”. How did that make you feel? One thing for sure, it would feel a lot better than an adult saying to you “oh, maybe you’re just not ready for this standard yet!” The attitude that we share around our child has a huge impact on how the think, speak and act in the world beyond our own front door.
Instead of holding young people back; many times unintentionally, as parents we owe to our young eager interns to raise their expectations higher. Help them to paint pictures in their minds of who they are, who they can become and how much greatness they have within them.
When we plant a seed in the garden, the seed will not grow into a fully grown plant straight away. It will take time depending on the type of plant and the type of conditions that the plant needs to grow. Some enjoy warm temperatures while some prefer cooler conditions. Some need to be watered regularly while some can survive with little or no water quite well. And one thing holds true with all these plants the more tending that you give them from early on, the more likely they will flourish and bloom from early on.
If this works for our plants, doesn’t the same hold true for our children?
What if we instill them with the attitude they can achieve anything that they dream of? What if we teach them that obstacles are just tiny setbacks to enable them to grow from strength to strength? What if we show them by example that the choices we make in life can make a difference in the success that we achieve? And what if, from a very early age we share with them the message that all children need to hear “I believe in you!”
Mum and dad, your child has a potential that you and I cannot really measure right now. However what we do know is that with your help they have the ability and strength to overcome much and bring forth what is in them.
Just imagine your daughter looking beautiful on the inside as well as the outside because she is pursuing what she enjoys and you give the chance to stretch and grow.
Imagine your son, standing upright and confident of their achievements and part they play in the wider community.
Children need to believe in their potential and we are the key to help them make them make it happen. Potential is seed that has been planted in our children’s hearts, minds and bodies. Instead of holding them back or setting lower expectation let’s nurture these seeds and help them to grow into rich ripe fruits!
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Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com