Development Of The Child: Raising Children Without Limits
By Donovan Grant
Could your child be holding themself back?
As parents we often wonder “what is my child truly capable of?” They show us flashes of brilliance that make us thankful and proud to be their mum and dad. Yet on other occasions as they grow up we see them do things that make us wonder “is this the same child?” The truth is that “yes”, it is the same child, it’s just that that maybe their focus has changed a little.
Will they be able to pull off more moments of brilliance? Yes, they can.
You can probably remember a time or two from your own childhood, when you had a breakthrough in maths class. A sum or method that had been a problem for a long time all of a sudden became obvious to you. Or perhaps you played soccer as a youngster and then one day you scored a fantastic goal and it increased your own opinion of how good you were.
What these magical moments show us is that we all have greatness within us. We have the ability to perform better than we have ever done before.
So when our children fail to reach their highest level, it’s not because they do not have the ability. It could be because of the thoughts that they have about themselves. Or more specifically, are they comparing themselves with their peers. You can normally tell in their language…
“I’m not as good as Peter!”
“Sally normally scores better than me”
“I used to be better than everybody in the class.”
As a one off comment these sentences don’t mean much to anyone. But when a young person, thinks, feels and acts with these type of ideas in their mind over and over again, it can affect their results. In fact, this is a way for them to unknowingly place limits on themselves. They set an invisible bar that says “you can only go so far!”
Have you ever sensed this in behaviour your child?
We have seen it in our own children and my wife, Jen and I always take the time to talk things through with the children. Our belief is that every child has the power already within them to be happy and successful. They’ve got what they need to make their dreams come true. They just need to be nurtured and mentored.
Just consider for a moment, how many mums and dads have missed out on many of their own magic moments because we didn’t think we could have more. Our potential is limitless.
Let’s look at it this way…
Imagine you took a trip to your local shopping centre and you met 100 people. Without even knowing any of them, you could be sure that you would be better than all 100 of them at something and they would all be better than you at something. This is a given and you wouldn’t need to feel bad or inferior about that.
So now let’s think back to your son and daughter, we know that they are better than their peers in some areas. We also know that their peers will be better than your son and daughter in some areas. Wouldn’t it make sense not to compare themselves with their peers?
Of course we know that many children like to tease each other about things. So the question is how much does it affect your child when their peers are better than them in some way? If they compare themselves to their peers they may seem to be underperforming, however if they compared to their own previous results achievements, it could be a different story.
It has got to be fair for them to look at their own results and see if they are improving. This way they can sure that they are comparing like for like and they can see if they are really making progress. When we can help them to look at themselves from this way, they will see that really there is no limit to how much they can achieve!!
So, could your child be holding themselves back because they are comparing their results to others?
We owe it to our children to teach them about their limitless potential and how they can go about reaching for it. When your child has a dream, the dream only comes to them because they have all the skills and talents that they need to achieve it. Let’s help our children to lift the lid on the limits that maybe lurking in their minds that they can only go so far. The development of the child is #1. And they were all born to win.
We believe in raising children for success!!
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com