Ask Donovan Blog Posts- Your Questions About Family Life! Question #1
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Here’s a question from Ian, a father of two ”After a tough day at the office, all I feel like doing is sitting in front of the TV and just chilling out, how do you motivate yourself to do something more constructive? I just can’t seem to find the time or energy to do what I want."
This is great question and it’s important that he used the word, "want."
I used to assume, when I was caught in the cycle of go to office, return home, watch TV, go to bed, and go to office on a daily basis that some people might have an easier life than mine was. Truth is, everyone has 24 hours a day and faces the challenges of achieving what they want and raising a family at the same time. To put it simply, no one gets to have an easy life this side of heaven.
Until then….. we're going to face the ‘not enough’ time and energy troubles in parenting. Here are a few things a parent could do to help you re-focus, get motivated and do what you want to.
#1- End every day with a reflection of your successes
When you set aside time to acknowledge the things that went well, review your goals and look at what is in store, you will set yourself up for success. Just like children remember the stories they read before going to bed, we also remember the last things we fed into our mind before sleeping. It could take you anywhere from five to thirty minutes and the effort will be worth it. Take the time to imprint good news on your mind at night and when you awake, that will be how you start you day.
Once you start getting used to this exercise, you can add to it. You can sit with your eyes closed for five minutes, breathing deeply and relaxed and just ask yourself an inquiry like one of these:
- Show me where I could have been more effective today
- Show me where I could have been more energetic today
- Show me where I could have been a better parent today
- Show me where I could have been more _____ (fill in the blank) today
#2- Make some space for what you want.
Most of our homes are busting with too much clutter. Old clothes, broken toys and personal items and things that we don’t even remember that we had. Do you really need it all? If you’re like me, the answer is “no.” One of the best ways that I find to free up time, energy and creativity is to do a de-clutter. It is amazing how having a clear out of your living and work space also frees up your mind space too. It’s as if you are making space for something new in your life. Just imagine if you were to look at your crowded wardrobe and clear out everything that you haven’t worn for six months. It could be life changing. So, out with the old and get energised.
#3- Learn to face what isn’t working.
Happiness is something you choose, it does not just happen. So when you say you want to ‘do what you want’, you have to move beyond denials and face what isn’t working in your life. With my humble beginning I had to make a choice, to be the kind of man and father I was designed to be despite the challenges around me. There were times when I was the only cheerleader I had… and little by little I kept plugging away and believing that my goals and desires were still possible. To be honest, proving it to myself was crucial to all the success that I have now.
When it comes to moving forward, you’ve got to be honest and ask yourself some tough love questions like:
- Do I deserve to be successful?
- Do I make excuses for not using my time wisely?
- Could my lack of energy be related to my level of fitness, diet or attitude?
- Am I putting off making a decision that could change my results?
When I faced what wasn’t working for me, life took on new meaning. It is never an easy thing to do in parenting. But when you move forward, listen to the warning signs and take the necessary action energy, time and success will come.
The War Art is one of my favourite life changing books by Steven Pressfield. I highly recommend it! I read it at least twice per year. Here's the link to find out more …
Every blessing to you and keep on believing. You can do it!
Form my heart to yours