Breaking Out Of The Old Parenting Mould


Breaking Out Of The Old Parenting Mould

By Donovan Grant

Have you ever found yourself in a real edge of your comfort zone place?

When you get stuck in a lift you never see it coming. You’re either day dreaming or chatting away as the elevator travels to your floor, or not…

…all of a sudden you realise “we’re not moving!”

Has this ever happened to you? Were you alone?

Even though you thought you heard whirring sounds, felt the movement and the most obvious clue – saw the floor indicator going up or down. You didn’t! And you hadn’t moved an inch. So what would you do… go straight for the alarm or try a few buttons first?

This happened to my colleague Sue and I recently and we tried the buttons first before we started screaming. Surprise, surprise; none of the buttons worked. The alarm button did! If only you could picture me now pressing the button with my thumb almost going through the panel. We waited patiently and then nothing. Where was the friendly voice through the speakers to say “we are on our way to you now and will have you out of there is no time!”


We pressed the button harder and longer. Still the same result. Sue beat me to the punch line “Glad I’m not stuck in this lift on my own.” Little did she know, those were my exact thoughts too.

In reality, as long as we could remain calm, have enough air to breathe and speak to someone soon, we knew we’d be okay.

Sometimes several minutes can feel like hours! On this occasion, it was a long time waiting. But after 16 minutes the lift doors were prised open. “Thank God for that” was all we could muster apart from confirming our names and badge numbers. It was great to be unstuck.

Have you ever been trapped? Have you felt stuck with nobody there to help you out? It doesn’t have to be in a lift, many of us get trapped in life too. Sometimes you can just feel trapped by life, not sure whether to head north, south east or west. Where is your life compass pointing right now?

Just suppose you were trapped by your own thoughts because you were afraid to leave your comfort zone? Hey we’ve all been there, so don’t feel like you are being picked out specially. The thing is when you get stuck, trapped and even fearful of what to do next; it becomes easy to just go with the flow. And just be okay where you are.

Between you and me, I can remember the last time I used the phrase “maybe, it wasn’t’ meant to be” after I missed out on a fab job that was advertised at my firm. It was the perfect job; ticked all the boxes in what I wanted from my career and I had all the skills and strengths required. The interview went really well and the two week wait ended with polite “thanks but no thanks.”

Normally, I would take that set back as just one of those things but I really put a lot of effort into that application so it hit me quite badly. This “failure” knocked me for six. And it was a long while before I applied for another job. It is so easy to allow our discomfort to hold us back from functioning at our best.

One of the wise nuggets that I now carry with me is that staying in the game is never enough. You’ve got to be actively involved and always put in an MVP performance.

The other key that has served me well is having an accountability partner. Whether in family, business, sport or leisure I have people who will hold me accountable to my own standards. They have my permission to call me out when I’m not putting in an MVP performance and this has helped me to get up, on occasions I’ve felt like staying down.

So what are you like for getting out of your comfort zone? Do you need to be pushed or do you lead? Just like when Sue and I were stuck in that lift, it can be a scary place because you never know what’s going to happen next. And plus you start asking yourself the wrong kind of “what if” questions.

What if I screw up?

What if no one supports me?

What if they don’t like me?

My friend, be an ambassador for your own truth. And give yourself the permission to be the champion you were designed to be.

As Marianne Williamson so nicely put it “we are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.“

If things are “okay” or “fine” for you today, well it’s time for them to be “amazing” and “fantastic” instead.

Let’s make our lights shine for someone today!!

The world needs YOU to step out.

What will your response be to the call of greatness in your life?  Please comment below and I promise to read every single one!


Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations.  He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play.

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  • Thank you Donovan for another great post! And I love this: ”
    “we are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.“