The Parenting Genie Returns to Grant Three More Wishes
By Donovan Grant
In raising our young family three things were required to help the development of the child into a blossoming personality. Love, discipline and vision. It may not sound much to you so if you toss in a bit of sound education then we are right on the button.
Parenting is like the longest university degree you can sit and the treat is that it never ends. When you can hold your head high and say that I kept to the task and nurtured my children the best that I could, then you deserve the plaudits.
In truth though, on some days there are more questions than answers when you want to help a child. There is no one size fits all for parenting children so we have to focus in the direction of what is ideal for our child at the time. Have you ever wished you had a genie that you could granted three wishes from?
Here’s how three of our clients’ inquiries would have been handled by a parenting genie:
Wish #1: Genie, my kids consistently do the opposite of what I’m telling them to do. Give me a hot tip so I know where to focus on my next challenge.
The Genie says:
There are stages in a child’s life where disobeying you could become an unnatural progression. This normally occurs as children grow into adolescents, they want to push boundaries, they want to be afforded more independence to make their own decisions and they simply want you to know they growing up.
At times like this loving them does not seem like the #1 thing on your mind. The first thing is normally “in what way can I punish this child?”
The funny thing is- these are the times that we as parent really need to back off and time a time-out. We need to let go of any anger that may have built up so that we can get back to loving them again. Let’s take some time to just cool down if we are nearing the point of losing control. It may not feel like it, but it is a time to remind ourselves, that just like us children make mistakes too. The magic tip is for us to help the children to learn from their mistakes. When we can turn a disappointment into a learning situation, you will be the best parent you can be.
Wish #2: Genie, what's the best way to help my kids develop discipline? They are good kids, but they can be a bit lazy at times, so I'm not sure how I can implement a strategy.
The Genie says:
Discipline is not an act done one in a while, it is a habit that our children grow into. When the do something often it will become what they are good at, so we will do well to have them doing the right thing often.
Sometimes as parents we can misread our children and because we don’t see them performing to a high natural ability we take the view that they are untalented. The thing is that most people are not overly gifted. The ones that do well in school, on the sports field and in work are the ones who have made hard work a habit. When we look in the world of work, it is seldom always the smartest guy or girl who comes out on top.
When you develop determination and discipline in your children they will do better that their peers who perhaps possess more natural ability. Give your children the gift of discipline from an early age and they will carry it with them for life.
Wish #3: Genie, grant me this one wish to have a balanced and successful son.
The Genie says:
Many children are unaware what they want to do with their lives. With so many stories of fame and fortune with little work involved it is easy for them to become distracted. Our job is to talk to our child about nurturing his talent to its fullest potential.
Your son may already have a vision of his future; he may not know how to bring it to life yet. Your job is to work with him and give him the will and the confidence to make his dream a reality.
Your child’s dream needs to be his dream and not yours. Just because he may be very unclear on what he wants, does not mean that you should gate-crash his party! How can you help to bring his future into focus? You will know that poor planning and indecision will not serve your son well, so you have to work from the inside out. Give your son time and tease it out of him by asking questions like:
What tasks really excite you?
What type of things give you pleasure?
What is the most fulfilling thing that you like to do?
The picture will start to take shape over time and your son will become that balanced and successful young man who reaches for his potential. I believe in you and your son.
Have a wish that wasn't answered? Page down to the comment section and leave a comment to share it or any other thoughts you have. Maybe we can get the genie to grant a few more wishes.
Let's All Celebrate Parenting Success & Passion!
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com