Parents Only: The Secret Of The Gap Between Circles


Parents Only: The Secret Of The Gap Between Circles

By Donovan Grant

Have you ever found yourself winning in life and you didn’t know why? This happens for many of us from time to time and it feels real good.

The opposite of this is when you miss your targets often and you just can’t put your finger on the reason. This can be enough to knock anyone out of their stride.

When we don’t achieve our goals, this can happen for many reasons. For instance, the goal was not interesting, there was no fun aspect to it, you didn’t allow enough time for it to fulfil or sometimes, it wasn’t your goal in the first place – it was someone else’s!

Now some people may have turned around and said “you haven’t got the will power to succeed”. And you may have even agreed with them. You may have even said to yourself “maybe God didn’t have a plan for me to have to achieve this!”

From one parent to another, have you ever thought this to yourself? Sometimes, we can truly be our own harshest critic and come out with words that out of our normal character. It’s even ok to knock ourselves once in a while. The key thing is that we can catch ourselves in the act and say “hey! Don’t go there, you were born to win!”

For the majority of people the environment that they have grown and lived in shapes their beliefs about them can and can’t do. This got me thinking… if someone is keen to sets goals and take action, yet they fail time and time again what could be another reason be for the failure? Could it be that their self-image is rejecting the goal? Could it be that their self-image is denying them the chance to be successful?

Now you may wonder, what the heck is my self image? Good question!

Just imagine looking into the mirror in your bedroom and ask yourself “what do I really think and feel about myself?”

The ‘gut feel’ answer that you first come up with will give you a good idea about your self image. It’s not just at conscious level, what we are talking about is at a deep rooted subconscious level. The thing is that most of us are not even aware that a lot of what you and I do is because of what we think about you and me! What?

Just suppose you were to draw a big circle and this circle represented your LIFE. Then you drew an even bigger circle around the first one so you have a gap in between the two.

The outer circle represents the YOU and your current results; success and failures, likes and dislikes and all the personality traits that people know you by.

The inner circle represents the REAL you. The creative, outgoing, confident, unstoppable and never say die you who is fired up for success and achievement. Just waiting to be set free!

So why is there a gap? The gap is the difference between who you appear on the outside and the person that you really meant to be. The difference between where you are and where you could be.  The difference between what you think about yourself and who you really are!

Allow me to make a full disclaimer here:

We all have a gap between our two circles in life!

It just that many of us have never looked at life in this way ever before.

Have you ever felt an urge inside you wanting to live a richer and fuller life? Me too!

Maybe no one has ever said this to you before, but please allow me to be a friend from afar “it’s time to bridge the gap!”

I don’t know what the goal is that you are pursuing right now, however I know that “you can do it!”

You see the thing is your dream is calling you. It calls you because it’s from your heart and you were designed to be more. Your current self image portrays what you think to yourself and the world. If it’s not what you want, it’s time to bridge the gap.

Are you ready to start building the bridge and release the person that you were designed to be? Let's start building together today!

Here’s a question to help get you started:

What would it mean to you and for you being able to live a life of meaning and purpose and making a living doing what you love?

I believe in you and your dreams.

Every blessing.



Connect with Donovan on Twitter @donovangrant.

How do you keep focused on your goals? Do you have any goal achievement tips to share? Please leave your comments below.


Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations.  He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play.

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  • Donovan, great post and encouragement.  Be who you are designed to be.  Yes even though I am blooming late I have not withered away but was fed but the right coach and programs.

  • Hi Donovan…Thank you for sharing ! Great article and I agree…”Yes, we were born to win.” …Hughie 🙂

  • Nothing else will be quite as it should until one establishes, claims and LOVES who they are! Great article!

  • Donovan…WOW..You always deliver. I have heard this many times, but the picture you paint of the gap is perfect. It is easy to visualize and that makes it easier to act. Keep up the great work!

  • Very helpful piece, Donovan, because in fact we often don’t bring our passions into every area of our life… which causes the gap to enlarge. I loved your metaphor, well done!

  • Great article Donovan!  I have found the importance of really loving yourself and going after the dreams that you have in your heart. I have no desire to look back on my life with regrets because I was too scared or because I allowed limiting beliefs to hold me back.  Thanks again for sharing! 

  • Hi Donovan, I kept thinking that we have to expect things to happen for us. Expectation is a very powerful force in our life. Our inner reality has to come forth on the outside; we are made to shine in this world, but if we don’t expect it, nothing is going to happen!

  • Anonymous

    Wonderful visual explanation! Thanks so much Donovan!

  • Donovan brilliant article!  I agree wonderful visual explanation. Thank you for sharing “The Secret Of The Gap Between Circles! with us!

  • Aj

    Great advice Donovan!
    Self image is so important in all areas of our lives. It is tough to build up and and easy to tear down. As a business owner, you have to keep a strong self image, even when it gets tough.
    One thing you can count on, things will get tough at some point.

  • Thanks Carol, as my mum always said the race is not always for the swift (apart from Usain Bolt of course). The late blooming people and things generally have that certain classy edge to them. Keep on blooming!

  • Cheers Hughie, it’s great to connect with a true champion like yourself!!

  • Love that Denny. We got to establish, claim and love ourself first! Thanks Denny!

  • Hi Michele, thanks for being the delivery man, it’s a please to be able to share with visionaries like you. Do let us know if there are any topics that you would love to hear more of. Donovan

  • Hi Diane, glad you enjoyed the article. Aren’t metaphors beautiful! Thanks a lot! Donovan

  • Thanks for popping by Jennifer. Yes, we really need to spread the world on loving ourselves!

  • Great comment Olga, expectation is a powerful force and we are all born to shine. Keep on shining Olga!

  • Hey Lori, thanks for popping by. Yes, I love visual explanations too!

  • Thanks Anastasia, it’s wonderful to share these articles with great people like you too!

  • Type your reply..Th

  • Thanks AJ. I think you’ve hit the nail on the head, it always will get tough when you are a business owner. The question is how will you respond because of who you are? Thanks a lot!