Raise Your Child’s Social Value: A Simple Lesson Smart People Wish They'd Learned Sooner
There are a ton of children who do not have the people skills they need for success. Some have top academic skills. Some have been gifted amazing talents in sports and the arts. And some are so talented on video games and the computer, that they make their parents heads spin!
There is one more ‘secret’ skill they need that you can help them with. They need the gift of people skills. If there is one thing that children and adults have to do on a daily basis, it is to communicate. So, if your children are groomed to have great communication skills, they will have even better confidence and they will develop the art that is so needed for their future.
Why develop people skills?
Our children do not wake up in the morning and say to themselves, “Oh I need to work on my people skills today! Where can I find me a good book so I can teach myself?” we have to lead children with what they already want. Some want to be actors, some doctors, some lawyers, and some hair dressers. To succeed in all these fields will involve them connecting with other people.
For example, your daughter maybe a whiz at maths and looks forward to a future in engineering and maybe even become a great inventor. Your son may be a brilliant footballer and he has a number of top colleges trying to sign him up to study with them.
What you see in both these cases, the children will require people skills if they are to do well. When universities, businesses and teams take young people on, they want to know that you can fit in! They want to be sure that you will not rock the boat. They want to know that you can speak up for yourself. Now understand this, you don’t need to be a clone. You just need to be yourself.
One thing for sure is that there is a big majority of adults who lack good people skills. You can look across many fields; teaching, banking, layers, IT, sport, clergy, doctors; the list is endless. There are people that you think should be better and they are not. They were never trained to be. When you train your children to work in a spirit of respect and honour with other people, they will move up the success ladder of life.
As we move forward into grooming your child for success, here two top parenting practices to work with:
Top Parenting Practice #1
What does your child need most?
When we talk about communication skills, most often we will think of talking to others. The thing is that there is far more to it than that.
To keep it simple let’s use an example of two people in a conversation. For the conversation to work well they will need to be in rapport. One person will be talking while the other is listening, then the roles will change as they continue to make things flow smoothly. Of course there will be moments where one person butts in, however as long as they readjust they will still be in rapport.
Now if that conversation went the opposite way and both people were constantly trying to talk at the same time it would be chaos. In fact it would be more like they were arguing. Indeed it would be hard to get any agreement of things went like this.
And what about if one of the people in the conversation was shy and lacked the confidence to talk with others? The thing is- there would not be a real conversation. It would be a one way thing.
This helps to point out three steps that your child may take on to improve their people skills:
Step 1. Listen – When your son develops his listening, it changes the way others see him, it increases his respect for others and it gives him the chance the understand what he hears.
Step 2. Think – If your daughter thinks before she speaks, she will be clearer on what she want to say. This will demonstrate that she cares about the other person and will allow her have better listeners.
Step 3. Respond – By responding after listening and thinking your child’s conversation can be in full flow. There will a real person to person connection, much like a couple of synchronised swimmers in the pool. The difference between responding and reacting is huge, for both the speaker and the listener!
Would it be useful if your child developed their people skills?
Let’s take 5 minutes every day to talk to our children about people skills. We can find ways to work with them to improve their people skills in a much bigger way.
Top Parenting Practice #2
Do you read with your children?
One of the best books for helping your children understand people skills is How To Win Friends And Influence People By Dale Carnegie. It’s an old book but it teaches people skills through stories which have been proven as the best way for us to learn. Getting along with people in social and business settings are key to us having high self-esteem.
Read it and see what you think. Just between us- I wish a book like this was given to me when I was a child, it would have made a huge difference in my growing up!
What sort of insights will you gain from reading this book?
How to improve your personality so people connect with you even more
How to understand people so you are able be more flexible in your style
How to make people like you so that you remain true to your own values
How to develop your ability to lead others so that you give and get respect
Young people who take part in out classes always develop something that brings their personality out in a unique way.
In my experience, great people skills are important in parenting, marriage and business. Whether you are 9 or 99, connection with others is important.
Can your children succeed in life with very little people skills? The answer from all parents will be a big ‘no’. Technical skills and know how alone are not enough for them to be their best. If you can’t get along with others, you won’t truly be successful.
Let’s raise the next generation to respect and honour others!
We believe in your goals and dreams for the future!
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com