Have You Got A Secret To Relaxed Parenting?
By Donovan Grant
Parenting is a fabulous journey that lasts a lifetime. That’s right. Unlike what the government tells us, just because our children become reach the age of 18 years old doesn’t mean we stop being a parent. It’s a job for life.
Now if someone were to serve 18-20 years in a job (is a miracle in today’s market), they would be given a ton of awards. So with that in mind, shouldn’t parents get rewarded for serving their children for 5, 10 or 18 plus years?
One of the things that we all discover sooner or later is that parents get tired! Mums get tired and dads can get tired too. As much as we love our sons and daughters, they can place a lot of demands on us. Sometimes our mental energy gets drained, sometimes physical and more often than not our emotional energy is tested to the limit.
Do you ever felt tired as a parent?
If you answered “no” to that question, then fair play to you. And if you answered “yes” then just know that you are in good company and there’s no need to feel guilty about it at all. Instead of that, it could be a good time to ask yourself “is it time for me to refuel and recharge?” Now matter how well intentioned you are, you deserve to have a break.
Just for a moment imagine that you had a nice house with a pretty garden and you installed a new water butt to collect all the rainwater that fell on the roof of the garden shed. Every time it rains the barrel gets topped up and every time you water the flowers you take the water out. What would happen if there was a drought in your city and it didn’t rain for a long time? Eventually the water would run out apart from the residue at the bottom of the barrel.
So speaking of using a lot of energy, if parents are pouring out tender loving care on a daily basis it’s really important for them to keep topping themselves up. Are you refuelling and recharging on a regular basis? Please lean in and read the next sentence carefully “even the most devoted and enthusiastic parent needs to stop and refuel.” Let’s face it; you’ve earned the right to put your feet up from time to time. If you find that you don’t feel like ever taking a break, you may just need to ask yourself “what’s stopping me from taking time out and refreshing myself?”
It’s so easy to get stuck on the parenting treadmill and just keep on doing things. But remember this- it doesn’t have to be a big old affair. Just scheduling some regular “me time” where you can read, listen to some favourite music or watch a movie could be all it takes to get you back on track.
The benefit of taking time out is that you restore and replenish your spirit. In the end you will feel better, look better and you will be better. The spinoff is that your freshness will rub off on your family too. Even if they don’t mention it, they will taste that happy feeling just from being around you.
Will it make your children better children? Well we can’t promise that, because children will be children. But when we as parents take the time and space we need it helps us to see parenting through fresh eyes with greater composure and even more fun.
So how would you choose to recharge?
Here’s an idea for you to do this very evening… brew yourself a cup of your favourite herbal tea and curl up in a quiet corner with a pen and a notebook. Then make a list of all your favourite activities that you could do to help recharge. And then start scheduling them throughout your week.
There are so many different ways of relaxing that you're bound to come up with some really good ones that work for you.
Remember this- Never wait for a crisis and then try to use meditation or some other method to help recover. It won't work like a headache pill. Parents need to truly make relaxation a daily habit.
Let’s keep raising wholesome families for successes!
I believe in you.
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com