Better Your Best: What's Stopping You?
By Donovan Grant
Are you holding yourself back from being your best? This is something that could kill you spiritually every day and every moment by creeping up on you like a thief in the night. The funny thing is that these are obstacles and stumbling blocks that You yourself put up!
What! How can this be?
It’s the doubtful, critical voice that lives inside all of us. Some call it a gremlin, a saboteur and some call it resistance. Whatever you call it, it has the potential to stop you from growing, make you resistant to change or just plainly make you quit from doing what you are really born to do and having life balance.
“I can’t do that so I might as well not try!”
“I’ve never tried that before.”
“Be careful, they may see that you’re that good.”
These are typical statements that we all say from time to time. Sadly for some of us, these phrases get repeated over and over until we become stopped. We get so worn down that "seeds of doubt" become a “big old tree” and we just give up on our dream, our goal and our life balance. This is a painful thing yet, this happens to people every day.
Why is it so hard to deal with the voice inside you that discourages you from taking positive steps in your life? The answer is easy, because it’s your own voice.
We have been conditioned as we grew up in a harsh society so that everything you do, say, or even think, is a description of how much worth you have as an individual. Well intentioned parents, teachers, peers, environments, etc; it has all had an impact from the minute that you had an impressionable mind. For example, some children have been taught that if they didn't become doctors, lawyers, or rich and famous, that we were worthless and don't deserve to be happy in life. Society can be tough on us when we want a better life balance!
A few years ago, I was having some challenges in my work as a public speaker and I couldn't resolve it. Every once in a while I just froze on stage half-way through a speech! I'd carry on talking but, I couldn't use the full floor space or use my body language to give the audience a better experience.
My coach, Caitilin and I worked on this problem in a session and she advised "you are getting in your own way." When Caitilin dug a bit deeper we got to the core of the problem. It seemed that I was more concerned about looking and sounding great rather than the quality of service I was giving the audience. This was big! In truth I didn't realise that I was doing this.
After engaging in some more serious exploration with my coach, my action point was to write a poem for myself. It’s provided below for your enjoyment.
What can you do if resistance is holding you back from life balance?
Self exploration is the answer that worked for me. There is no right or wrong way to "do" self exploration. The important thing is that we do it. Some ideas that you could try involve writing for yourself:
1. Write yourself a letter, a poem or a story. – This is a great way to express your feelings on paper. Writing for yourself has been proven to be therapeutic for a long time
2. Start writing a daily journal – Journal writing allows you a safe place to explore new ideas, clarify values & beliefs, and practice your own truth
3. Hire a coach or mentor to help work through your challenge
The one and only you
By Donovan Grant
If not for you, I could never have achieved so much
your strength, your timing and your golden touch
Thank you for being there my dear old friend
I know that you'll always be with me until the end.
You get me excited when I face something new
And you tickle my nerve when I have big things to do
Only you could have shown me all those stop signs
Halting me in my tracks instead moving me along the line.
My friend please keep on helping me and I salute you
Because I have got so much great work and living to do
As we go forth do not be alarmed if I don't heed to your every call
Thanks to you, I now have the key to get past the brick wall.
So, what do you do when resistance comes calling?
Don’t let the gremlin get the upper hand, get control quickly, regain your sense of humour and get back to being your best!
Your dreams are important to me! Let's keep moving forward!
P.S. Just for the record, I personally have been held hostage by resistance many times in my career.. and interestingly when I made the commitment to free myself up, the biggest advances happened! I can't wait to hear from you! Let's do this!
Father of three wonderful children, coach, mentor, copy-writer, speaker and IT Professional are just some of the roles that Donovan Grant enjoys everyday. He is a passionate and committed person who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Donovan has been a catalyst for many to live a life of balance, integrity and fun whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com