who do you think you are?
By Donovan Grant
Stinking Thinking must be challenged, and snuffed out-because we are not what we eat, but we are what we think and believe!
We all have that little voice inside our head that chatters away incessantly, offering a running commentary on our lives. What does that voice tell you? Does it criticize harshly, destroying your spirit, or does it speak words that come from your powerful self. Is it possible to change the recording in your head?
You are not alone
No one escapes the wrath of self-talk. If you have a pulse and you are still breathing the voice that does not always speak kindly comes to visit you too. From Barak Obama, one of the most influential men on the planet all the way to a young child who is just getting to grips with starting school experiences it. So it’s not a question of “why me” it’s more a case of “what I do to keep moving forward” when negative thoughts to pop into your mind.
For some of us it is a daily ritual to wade through the sea of bombarding thoughts that pass through our grey matter. Scientific studies have estimated that every day you have 45,000 – 61,000 thoughts come and go through the revolving doorway of your beautiful mind. The task to determine which ones we'll own and which ones are worthy of being thrown out is possible and it does take work. It’s up to you to be the gate keeper that your mind deserves.
Ask yourself a couple of questions when you feel that train of thought drifting:
Is what I’m thinking true?
Am I just speculating?
It is so easy to default to negative thinking or pure speculation.
The thing is- what you think and say to yourself will impact the texture, colour and music of your life. Anyone who has ever beaten themself up, talked negatively to themself, or felt not good enough can take comfort and be encouraged that it does not have to be that way. You already possess the answer, the power and the ability to tell yourself what you really need to hear. We have to love ourselves first!
“So many people dwell on negativity and I’ve survived by ignoring it; it dims your light and it’s harder each time to turn the power up again ~ Judith Jamison”
When negative self-talk is left unchecked it becomes the norm for us. If we have children the tendency will be to pass on your thinking patterns like an inheritance. You owe it to yourself and your family to keep your own light bright so that you can see what is coming ahead of you. When your attitude is strong and honest you will illuminate the expectations and possibilities that are always there.
Have you ever been accused of commiting one of these crimes?
- Wearing rose tinted glasses
- Sipping on the happy juice
- Being too optomistic
- Living in cuckoo land
If you have, one of my mentors Sam Crowley would say that you are ab-normal; meaning that you are above normal. It won't surprise you to know that it doesn't take much more energy to think uplifting thoughts than it does to have thoughts that bring you down. And yet often times we find it easier to beat ourself up with self-doubts.
Negative self-talk is infectious
Can I speak to you as your personal coach? Remember this- your children believe in you and they are watching you. Stop and share ideas with them, so they understand when they get disappointments, that they should not let it stop them from achieving their goals. If they only see and hear you complaining about the bills, the government and society, they will believe that it is normal to think this way.
Today could be the day that your child needs to hear you say “hey well done for completing that essay that you were struggling with”.
You have the power
If you wish to, it will take courage and drive to begin changing the way your inner voice talks. In truth many of us don’t realise how much we really talk to ourselves and do not cultivate the awareness of those thoughts and repair the damage that many of them do.
As you go about your life today remember this – learn to keep your thought closet neat and clean of negative thinking! When you hear “KNOCK, KNOCK!” your cry needs to be “STOP AND STATE YOUR BUSINESS!” You have the choice to only welcome in positive, reinforcing thoughts. Wisdom should always be the keeper of the door to your thought closet.
The message of ‘what we say to ourselves matters’ is a very important one. Many people tell us that we should be kind to ourselves. Self-help books are full of such affirmations. We owe it to ourselves to speak the truth to ourselves not simply to help us feel better, but rather to bring us closer to who we were designed to be.
In the end it will feel almost as if it becomes a personal letter from your heart and soul.
Let’s be the gate keeper for our beautiful minds and talk about our strength, honesty and kindness.
I believe in you and I am grateful to serve you every day.
Donovan Grant is a coach, mentor, blogger, speaker and IT professional who brings his wisdom of parenting for the last 21 years and coaching clients through the stages of raising youth and empowering leaders with life lessons that are changing generations. He is a passionate and committed leader who believes that we all have the ability to help to change someone else’s life. Actively doing so as a catalyst for many years he teaches how to live a life of success, balance, integrity and fun, whether at work or at play. www.donovangrant.com